Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Things Which Irritate Me Beyond Rational Levels

There are some things which irritate me disproportionately to the actual effect they have on my life.

Those things are, but are not limited to, the following:
  1. People who do not use the proper plural suffix of words and instead just add an "s" to everything. No! The plural of index is indices,  the plural of nova is novae, the plural of auditorium is auditoria.  Look, I realize that it's slightly more difficult to remember to say appendices rather than appendixes, but choosing not to use the cool unusual suffix because "it's faster and easier to use the S" is like choosing to eat at McDonald's every day because it's more efficient. 
  2. The use of "Men's room" vs. "Ladies' room".  Please note that it's not the actual words, it's the pairing. If you say Ladies' room, then please also say Gentlemen's room (or 'the Gents'); if you say Men's room, then please also say Women's room. It just bugs me that the default seems to be that when females go to relieve themselves it's always dainty and ladylike, but when males go they're never given the benefit of equal refinement. If she's a lady, then he's a gentleman. It's baked right into the greeting, folks. 
  3. Calling a magazine a clip. I just... ugh. Look, here's a simple rhyme to help you remember: If it's gotta spring, it's a magazine. It really is that simple. If you're confused, the Internet has pictures to help you out
  4. The way that "dank" now means something other than "damp and cold." Yes, I realize this makes me old. Now get off my lawn and fetch me my Geritol!
I clearly have very strong feelings about the English language. 

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